In my years of working with the Enneagram, I’ve heard a lot of talk about which Enneagram type is “the worst.” The number of times I’ve heard “___ type is the worst” is genuinely uncountable and the blank could be filled in with almost any number.

I’ve also lost count of how many times people have told me that my type is the worst (which tends to get awkward for them once they find out what my type actually is).

This kind of talk is not okay — and it’s not helpful. There are plenty of reasons we don’t get along with certain people, and it is absolutely fine not to click with everyone. But that doesn’t mean any type is “the worst.”

If the Enneagram isn’t helping us become more kind, compassionate, and understanding toward ourselves and others, then what’s the point?

So let’s settle this once and for all.

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The Best Types

ALL NINE TYPES!

All nine types are equally good. Each type has incredible, lovely, valuable, beautiful qualities — especially when they’re healthy (or moving in that direction).

The Worst Types

ALL NINE TYPES!

All nine types are equally “bad.” By “bad,” what I really mean is that anyone, no matter their type, can act in hurtful, harmful, or otherwise negative ways. Let’s be honest: when we’re stressed, unhealthy, or even just a little hungry, we can all behave badly sometimes.

And yes, some people do really awful, horrible things. But these aren’t caused by a specific Enneagram type.

All that to say,

“best” and “worst” types are not a thing!

All types can be equally beautiful and equally flawed.

When People Say a Certain Type is “the Worst”

What they often mean is:

“I don’t understand that type.”
“I find it hard to get along with that type.”
“I knew a person of that type, and they hurt me deeply.”

All of these are completely understandable and valid! And that doesn’t make it okay to label a whole type as “the worst.”

You Might Also Not Like a Type If You…

See aspects of yourself in them
Resent them for the ease with which they do things that are extraordinarily challenging for you
Have history with someone who is that type
Just find them annoying (which is fine!)

I firmly believe that we do not have to get along with everyone. There are some people we just don’t click with, and that’s okay!

However, it’s important to acknowledge that individual differences and preferences are not *necessarily* related to Enneagram type.

And even if you’ve determined your dislike is absolutely connected to Enneagram type — you don’t have to say it publicly!

If You Really Want to Pick a Type that You Feel is the “Worst”…

Investigate that a little first:

What feels so intolerable for you?
Why is this person so grating for you? What might that tell you about yourself?
Are you painting with a broad brush? Is it possible that not every type ____ is “the worst”?

Remember

Regardless of Enneagram type, we’re talking about people with real feelings, real experiences, and real struggles.

It might seem harmless to comment “___s are the worst,” but you never know who might read it and take it to heart.

The Enneagram’s Real Purpose

The Enneagram can be a powerful tool to build compassion, kindness, and understanding — toward ourselves and others.

No more “___ are the worst type”. When we use the Enneagram to tear others down rather than build understanding, we’re missing the whole point.

How have you experienced this? Let me know here!

Want to explore more about the Enneagram and how to apply the Enneagram to your everyday life? My book, Enneagram in Real Life, provides you with a step-by-step guide to use the Enneagram as a practical tool for self-discovery, self-awareness, curiosity, and relational wholeness.