The Transformative Art of Deep Listening with Emily Kasriel
On this week’s episode of Enneagram in Real Life, Stephanie Barron Hall interviews Emily Kasriel, author of "Deep Listening: Transform Your Relationships with Family, Friends, and Foes." Kasriel, a former BBC journalist, introduces the concept of deep listening as a more authentic and transformative approach than traditional active listening. She outlines an 8-step framework that emphasizes self-awareness, creating a safe space, being present, and practicing the embodiment of curiosity and empathy. This episode highlights how deep listening empowers individuals to feel truly heard, reduces defensiveness, and promotes self-discovery and growth for both the speaker and the listener.
Emily Kasriel has had a distinguished career at the BBC for over two decades including roles as an award-winning journalist, editor and media executive. She developed the Deep Listening approach as a Senior Visiting Research Fellow at King’s College Policy Institute in London, drawing on her experience as an accredited executive coach and workplace mediator. Previously, she’s been a Visiting Fellow at Said Business School at Oxford University, and a Senior Advisor to the Skoll Foundation. An MA graduate of the University of Oxford and Syracuse University’s Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs (as a Rotary International Fellow), she lives in London.
Emily's book is out now! Deep Listening: Transform Your Relationships with Family, Friends, and Foes: You can grab a copy here.
🔗 Connect with Emily!
💻 Emily’s Website: https://www.emilykasriel.com/
📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ekasriel
💻 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilykasriel/
🔗 Connect with Stephanie!
💻 Stephanie’s Website: https://ninetypes.co/
📷 Stephanie’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ninetypesco
🎥 Stephanie’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@stephbarronhall
Here are the key takeaways:
Diving into Emily’s diverse background
Witnessing Nelson Mandela’s approach to connecting and listening to others
Deep listening aims to reduce polarization
Emily walks us through the 8 steps of Deep Listening
Being Present is key
Breaking down the body language of Deep Listening
Emily reads the Nine Types of Silence by Paul Goodman
What silence offers and what interruption hinders
Emily does a Deep Listening demonstration with Stephanie
How can one start practicing Deep Listening
Emily’s 8 Steps of Deep Listening:
Create Space: Find or create a place of safety.
Listen to Yourself: Develop a deeper understanding of your own agenda and your own disruptive shadows in
order to be truly ready to listen to someone else’s story.
Be Present: Become aware of internal and external distractions that get in the way of truly listening.
Be Curious: Refine listening qualities such as curiosity, respect and empathy.
Hold the Gaze: Explore the power of a warm-hearted gaze and other nonverbal cues.
Hold the Silence: Unravel the many types of silence and reasons why you may resist a pause.
Reflect Back: Crystallize the heart of the words, emotions and what’s unsaid; reflect this back to your speaker.
Go Deeper: Illuminate what ordinarily lies hidden—your speaker’s deeper narrative
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Work by Carl Rogers, American Psychologist
Research by Nick Epley at the University of Chicago
Work by Tara Brach, Loch Kelly, and Jon Kabat-Zinn
Nine Types of Silence by Paul Goodman
Work by Theodore Reich, American professor and psychiatrist
Enneagram Resources for you!
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