Self-Friendship: the act of being a caring, kind, and attentive friend toward oneself

I've been talking a lot about self-compassion lately, and these two concepts really go hand-in-hand. I get a lot of questions on how one can begin cultivating a caring, kind, and compassionate relationship with the self.

One thing I love to recommend is journaling!
1) It's helpful to take a pause during my day to focus and center myself
2) It's a great way to process freely without judgment from myself and others and,
3) I usually walk away with some piece of insight about myself.

So, here are a few journal prompts to help kickstart your self-friendship journey! Let me know which prompts resonate most with you!

These are inspired by the Self-Friendship by Type series. While those lists are by Enneagram type, these prompts are more general and meant to be for any type. Happy journaling!

If you’d like to see what others had to say about these journal prompts, you can find them on Instagram here and join the conversation!

Journal Prompt #1

There may already be a running list in your head of what's not going well and how things aren't going according to plan. It makes sense to feel frustrated about those things, but what are you missing when you overfocus on what's not up to par?
Finish this sentence: this week I'm proud of myself for...
What is one thing that unexpectedly brought you joy, even if it seems small?

Journal Prompt #2

It's so easy to celebrate your friends' success and cheer them on, but sometimes it's more difficult to do that for yourself. How can you be your own biggest encourager this week?
What is one thing you can do to courageously protect your heart, your time, and your energy?
Are you taking on any responsibility that isn't yours to bear? If so, how can you reset your focus?

Journal Prompt #3

Acknowledge the big impact of the little moments you already naturally contribute to the world: giving a passing smile, a hug, or a word of encouragement to someone who needs it. Make a list of encouraging small moments you appreciate.
Now, how can you extend this type of compassion, understanding, and kindness to yourself?
Slow yourself down. What do you need physically? What do you need emotionally? Take one small action to help you meet these needs.

Journal Prompt #4

How can you offer yourself compassion and understanding when reality doesn't resemble what's in your head?
Where can you designate space (journal, sketchbook, private room, etc.) to allow your process to be ugly— No expectations. Nothing to gain or lose. Scratch it or save it, and repeat.
What can you appreciate in this current process that you didn't experience in the past? What is one practical way you can step into a new narrative that seems to be out of your reach?

Journal Prompt #5

How can you schedule a day (or a block of hours) of alone time in the next few weeks to try something new that you’ve been curious about? Make a list of new, interesting topics and activities, that you would enjoy exploring during this time.
Consider if there anything on the list that you're interested in but reticent to try. What's holding you back?
It can feel easy to ignore our physical bodies when we live in our minds. In what ways might ignoring your physical existence be a disservice? What are some practical ways to reconnect to your body?

Journal Prompt #6

It can feel easy to drop into autopilot when you're too busy or taking on a lot of responsibility. When will you take time this week to check in with yourself? What do you need from yourself to feel supported in those moments?
Are there any self-imposed expectations or plans that you can let go of to prioritize something that will be more supportive?
What are some ways you can offer yourself compassion when you feel like you could have done more in a given situation?

Journal Prompt #7

Staying busy with interesting activities can feel great in the moment, but it can also leave you ragged. Notice when you're jumping in because you want to avoid dull moments vs. jumping in because you're actually excited. How can you differentiate these experiences before jumping in?
What are you avoiding when you're subconsciously staying busy? How might constant movement be a distraction from what you really need?
When do you feel most in tune with yourself?

Journal Prompt #8

"Muscling through" is a tool. Sometimes, it's the right tool, but sometimes a different approach will get better (more sustainable) results. What other "tools" do you have that you can use? What "tools" would you like to develop?
When you're muscling through, it's easy to take on too much. What have you been carrying that you can let go of?
This week, what would it look like to take time to unplug and go into “Do Not Disturb” mode?

Journal Prompt #9

It might feel easy to be on call for friends, but being available to yourself can feel less important. Where do you feel safe to fully be yourself and explore what's really exciting and important to you?
As you reflect on this past week, what did you really enjoy doing, and why?
What happened this week that was not so enjoyable or even a bit frustrating? How can you offer yourself compassion and understanding for feeling the way you do in those moments?

What journal prompt would you add? Let me know on Instagram!

Want to explore more about the Enneagram and how to apply the Enneagram to your everyday life? My book, Enneagram in Real Life, provides you with a step-by-step guide to use the Enneagram as a practical tool for self-discovery, self-awareness, curiosity, and relational wholeness.