5 Ways to Practice Self-Friendship by Enneagram Type
To me, the concept of self-friendship is simple: it’s considering how we would respond to a friend who needed a little love and doing the same thing for ourselves.
Self-friendship : the act of being a caring, kind, and attentive friend toward oneself
In this post, we’ll explore 5 Ways to Practice Self-Friendship for each Enneagram Type.
If you’d like to see what others of your type had to say, you can find it on Instagram and join the conversation! I’ll link the posts below!
Heart Types
Type Two
I can practice self-friendship by...
Setting and sticking to boundaries with self-compassion ("it's okay that this feels difficult - I'm still learning, and I can take my time")
Noticing when I reach out to support others when I really need support
Taking myself out for a "date" or buying myself a gift when I feel inspired to send something to a friend
Reminding myself that I don't need to do anything spectacular to be loved
Practicing putting myself first a little every day
Type Three
I can practice self-friendship by...
Validating my need for rest and carving time out to actually do it
Reminding myself that my worth isn't based on others' opinion, approval, or admiration
Giving myself words of affirmation, especially affirmation to feel and express feelings
Saying yes to new projects only when I really mean it
Letting myself off the hook when I feel like I'm not doing enough
Type Four
I can practice self-friendship by...
Honoring my feelings with kindness through reflection, meditation, or journaling
Affirming things I know to be true of me out loud & noting what I love about myself and my surroundings
Reminding myself that I don't have to have it all together (and that no one has it all together)
Spending intentional time alone to think, dream, or create
Leaning into what makes me feel creative, aligned, and alive
Head Types
Type Five
I can practice self-friendship by...
Giving myself space not to have all the answers
Doing something I enjoy alone + without predetermined expectations so I can take my time
Setting aside time to enjoy my interests (& communicating about this time beforehand)
Exploring a new concept and leaning into my excitement and enthusiasm for learning
Building practices that are active yet calming, like painting, running, knitting, yoga, cooking, etc.
Type Six
I can practice self-friendship by...
Leaning into internal guidance & doing what is best for me
Giving myself time to rest and not feeling responsible for others
Reminding myself it's okay to take care of my mental and physical health
Allowing myself to cancel something on my self-imposed schedule
Offering myself compassion for how deeply I want to feel certain about so many things
Type Seven
I can practice self-friendship by...
Guiding myself through difficult emotions and reminding myself it's okay not to be joyful all the time
Spending quiet time alone to unwind
Keeping promises and plans with myself, even if something more interesting comes along
Taking myself out for mini adventures so I can enjoy things I love at a slower pace
Letting myself experience frustration when things don't go as planned rather than reframing immediately
Body Types
Type Eight
I can practice self-friendship by...
Reminding myself that it's okay not to be the strong one sometimes
Saying no when I've got too much on my plate
Having compassion and curiosity for all my emotions instead of detaching from them
Listening to physical cues (exhaustion, hunger, etc.) rather than pushing through
Saying soft, kind things to myself on a daily basis
Type Nine
I can practice self-friendship by...
Processing my thoughts and feelings rather than avoiding them (journaling, verbal processing alone or with a friend)
Respecting my need for alone time so that I can tune into what I really want in life
Accepting that some days I don't have energy for certain things
Observing when I have spoken up and giving myself a high-five
Making space for myself to enjoy quality moments of solitude
Type One
I can practice self-friendship by...
Reminding myself that things go wrong sometimes, and no one is at fault
Practicing trusting what I instinctively know rather than listening to the "shoulds"
Getting curious about my desire to create structure and balance and letting go a bit
Engaging creativity or humor when I need to shift my perspective
Practicing compassionate self-talk, especially around rest, productivity, and perfection
Want to explore more about your type and how to apply the Enneagram to your everyday life? My book, Enneagram in Real Life, provides you with a step-by-step guide to use the Enneagram as a practical tool for self-discovery, self-awareness, curiosity, and relational wholeness.
What practice would you add for your own type? Let me know on Instagram. You can click the images below to head over to each type’s Instagram post!
