Building Resilience by Enneagram Type
When we think of resilience, we often think about bouncing back and trying again, as if nothing ever happened. And while this might seem admirable on the outside, this response often requires ignoring, fleeing, or otherwise stuffing away feelings without processing them. In times of crisis, setting feelings aside might be necessary temporarily, but we can’t truly grow, build real resilience, or move forward if we don’t actually process emotions.
The concepts in this post include both sitting with the hard emotions AND moving through them with courage. As an Enneagram Three, I tend to feel most comfortable when I ignore my emotional side and push through, but I’ve learned that it’s not healthy or productive to live that way. I’ve also learned that grief does not belong solely to death - it can take many forms for many reasons. And grieving often paves the way for moving forward. So if you’re looking to build resilience, take the ideas in this post into account, but also be sure to process your feelings, sit with them, and allow yourself to feel them without judgment. For you, resilience might look different, and that’s okay 💛
Take good care of yourself this week ✨
You can find what other people of your type have to say about this post here.
Type One
AS AN ENNEAGRAM ONE, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Reaffirming my worth to myself
Forgiving myself when I make mistakes
Feeling my feelings without judgment
Making mistakes and trying again
Doing things that I know I won't do perfectly the first time
Staying committed even when it's not valued by others
Reconnecting with my purpose when I feel discouraged
Type Two
AS AN ENNEAGRAM TWO, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Letting myself be who I am in the moment
Reminding myself that I am a whole person on my own
Staying firm on my boundaries
Feeling confident in my worth even after I've been deeply hurt
Reassuring myself in how I'm feeling & knowing it won't be like this forever
Remembering that people rejecting me isn't always about me
Loving who I am becoming
Type Three
AS AN ENNEAGRAM THREE, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Moving forward from embarrassment or failure
Giving myself love when I'm overcome with shame
Reminding myself I am not what I do
Doing things that might not seem valuable to others but are valuable to me
Waking up and starting again after I feel like I've failed
Pausing when I start to feel restless rather than jumping into a new project
Showing up as my full self, not the "self" that I've created to make others happy
Type Four
AS AN ENNEAGRAM FOUR, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Not judging myself when I have bad days
Speaking up when I've felt misunderstood
Remembering I am strong & dynamic & worth it
Choosing to re-engage after shutting down, even if I'm not fully over it
Believing I am significant, even if I don't feel it
Doing the things I really want to do, even if others don't get it
Having all the feelings yet still showing up and working through it
Type Five
AS AN ENNEAGRAM FIVE, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Sharing about my needs with loved ones
Letting myself feel deeply
Being in relationship with other humans (who are inherently unpredictable)
Giving myself to something / someone new
Speaking up, even if I wasn't heard the first time
Doing the things I know I need to do to keep showing up in the world
Risking being uncomfortable in a new situation
Type Six
AS AN ENNEAGRAM SIX, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Letting people in after I've been hurt
Trusting my perspective and expertise
Being excited for the future
Remembering that I have the power to choose (and others do as well)
Moving forward even if I'm still not 100% sure
Letting myself dream and sharing it with loved ones
Facing my fears and believing in myself
Type Seven
AS AN ENNEAGRAM SEVEN, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Feeling something difficult without reframing or escaping
Allowing myself to be in the moment
Seeing challenging feelings as opportunities for growth
Choosing to support my overall well-being even if it's not fun in the moment
Finding ways to heal instead of running away
Asking for & accepting help when I need it
Practicing patience, especially with myself
Type Eight
AS AN ENNEAGRAM EIGHT, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Reclaiming my peace after feeling hurt or betrayed
Giving it my all, even if I'm not sure how things will go
Choosing to forgive because it's important to me
Staying the course, even when people/circumstances work against me
Pushing through hard things and then creating space to refuel
Being the first to reopen a conversation after conflict
Sitting with emotions that feel hard & opening up to a friend
Type Nine
AS AN ENNEAGRAM NINE, RESILIENCE MIGHT LOOK LIKE...
Letting myself take a break if I feel overwhelmed
Choosing to engage rather than avoid
Taking small, steady steps forward
Moving through hard things
Sitting with difficult emotions instead of zoning out or numbing
Reminding myself that I matter & I have something to say
Showing up for myself, even when I'm tired
What would you add for your Enneagram Type? Let me know here on Instagram.
Want to explore more about the Enneagram and how to apply the Enneagram to your everyday life? My book, Enneagram in Real Life, provides you with a step-by-step guide to use the Enneagram as a practical tool for self-discovery, self-awareness, curiosity, and relational wholeness.
