I would normally let this idea pass on (I have a graveyard of post ideas that will never see the light of day 😉🪦), but ’tis the season, so why not! I was thinking about the phrase, “That’ll be on my tombstone” (and similar sentences), so those inspired this post.

Things That Feel Like the Worst-case Scenario | A Reinterpretation of the “Core Fear” of Each Enneagram Type : We often hear about the “core motivation” and “core fear” of each Enneagram type. When I’ve talked about this with people who love the Enneagram (including many of you!), the term “core fear” doesn’t quite resonate. Instead, I’ve begun to teach this as what each type is avoiding or what feels like the WORST for each type.

Want to deepen your relationships and truly understand the people in your life? This guide explores how to relate with each Enneagram type—Types One through Nine—highlighting what each type values in communication, how they show up in relationships, and how you can connect more meaningfully. Whether you’re a Type Two learning to set boundaries or a Type Seven embracing stillness, these insights will help you grow in empathy and understanding.

What does growth look like for you? These aren’t the only signs of growth for each type, but these might help you observe what growth looks like for you. If you notice areas where you’ve grown, take a moment to acknowledge that! Building those habits can take a lot of intentional work. If there are items on this list that aren’t yet available to you, that’s okay, too. This is not intended to be a report card! Even noting a couple of ways you’ve grown is incredible!

Sometimes I think we get so caught up examining the differences between the types that we lose sight of our similarities. When I asked about what makes each type feel valued at work, every type shared that they appreciate being recognized for a job well done, even in small ways. So let your coworkers / employees / managers / group project buddies know how much you appreciate them!

We all have strengths & weaknesses. I love the idea that we can learn to “borrow” strengths: meaning, we assume we’re capable of growth and change AND we can learn to build on what we’re already good at. We can also acknowledge that each type has some incredible abilities that we can all appreciate!

This week on Enneagram in Real Life, Stephanie Barron Hall interviews Dr. Camden Morgante, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of Recovering from Purity Culture. Dr. Morgante defines purity culture and discusses related, harmful aspects associated with fear, shame, and control. She also breaks down common myths based on her research, and gives insight into how purity culture affects each Enneagram type. This discussion provides valuable context for understanding past experiences and practical initial steps for healing to reconstruct physical intimacy ethics based on personal values.

When I asked in my stories about what makes life feel meaningful, EVERY type said something along the lines of “time with friends,” “being with people I love,” “close family connections,” and other similar responses. The more I work with people, the more I’ve found that human connection is essential to our sense of well-being. It’s not necessarily about Enneagram type!

On this week’s episode of Enneagram in Real Life, Stephanie Barron Hall interviews Christina Wilcox, author of Take Care of Your Type and Take Care of Your Friends, which releases July 30th. Christina discusses the nuanced difference between self-care and self-pampering, focusing on how self-care often involves stepping out of emotional, relational, or physical comfort zones for personal growth. The conversation includes practical and emotional self-care tips for each Enneagram type, Christina’s reflections on writing her book, and updates on her current and upcoming projects.

On this week’s episode of Enneagram IRL, we meet with Christina S. Wilcox. Christina is an author, mental health advocate, enneagram expert, and creative. You may recognize her from her first book Take Care of Your Type: An Enneagram Guide to Self-Care, or from one of her Instagram graphics. As her second book, Take Care of your Friends is released, Christina continues to pursue her passion for writing and analysis of behavior as she works a 9-5 in Content Strategy. She hopes to continue to advance her understanding of the Enneagram while expanding her written work and online content into other mental health topics outside of personality typing systems.

On this week’s episode of Enneagram IRL, we meet with Marta Gillilan. Marta has taught in public and private schools both in the US and in Europe. Marta has a Master’s degree in Global Leadership from Fuller Seminary. She has over 25 years of experience in teaching, leadership teams, small group dynamics as well as individual coaching. Marta has extensive practical experience interweaving the complexities of the Enneagram into everyday life coaching for all types of people. Marta teaches Enneagram in classes, small groups and retreats but her passion is coaching and mentoring, relationship building, and leadership development. She's traveled extensively but calls Kansas City, Missouri her home.

On this week’s episode of Enneagram IRL, we meet with Kristi Rowles, a mental health therapist turned Enneagram Coach. She runs Full + Free Enneagram Co and launched Enneagram University in 2020 where she trains people-and-Enneagram-loving humans to be the most competent and confident coaches on the market. Kristi is known for teaching the Enneagram in a way that is accessible, practical, fun, and compassion-driven. She and her partner, Nick, call central Florida home but they love traveling and just wrapped up a 3-month trip to Central America. She’s got a thing for chocolate, bright colors, and fun earrings.

When I think about communication, I think about more than just talking: it’s how we express ourselves (even silence is a form of self-expression), it’s how we connect (or don’t), it’s how we build relationships and cultivate our lives. It’s everything! And this is one of THE most important ways I think we can use the Enneagram. How do you communicate with yourself? (Yes, it’s a thing!) And how do you communicate with others?

If you’ve been curious about using the Enneagram for growth, improving your relationships, and deepening self-awareness, I have good news for you!

Sixes are really hard to capture in a post like this because different types of Sixes can be so incredibly different. I’ve done my best based on the Sixes I’ve worked with and everything I’ve learned and read about Sixes!

While Sixes are known to be natural troubleshooters, often their questions can be viewed as a product of being afraid or anxious. However, this may not always be the case. Their vigilant nature can really help to serve themselves and others in the most helpful ways. And it’s important that we don’t underestimate what Sixes can handle!

In relationships, Sixes value consistency and commitment. Sixes prioritize relationships with people who are trustworthy, kind, and steady. While Sixes crave connected relationships, they also hold that desire in tension with uncertainty around whether their partner is in it as much as they are. Sixes tend to be fairly transparent because they want to know early on if they can trust others, if others truly like them for who they are, and if they are well-matched. It can be deeply hurtful for Sixes to learn later that the relationship was not what they thought it was. When less aware, a Six’s suspicious nature may cause them to be insecure, and their fear that the relationship will end may actually lead to the demise of the relationship. In general, Sixes are trustworthy and in it for the long haul.