Feeling Connected by Enneagram Type
What does it look like to feel connected to yourself and to the people around you?
In this post, we’ll explore the experience of feeling connected to the self & others by Enneagram type.
You'll notice that most of the types have a few things in common! We all feel more connected to others when we:
· engage in deep conversations with active listening both ways
· work collaboratively with those around us
· feel understood - or at least that others want to understand us
And we all feel more connected to ourselves when we take time for rest and alone time to meet our practical self-care needs.
These are based on responses from the types, and that doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything on your list! Get curious about yourself! Take what fits, leave what doesn’t.
Let’s dive in!
If you’d like to see what other people of your type have to say about this post, check it out here!
Enneagram One
Feeling connected to self & to others
Intentional conversations about real life: struggles, victories, & feelings
Time with close friends & family
Alone time without distractions and without expectation
Unstructured time in nature so that I can just be
Mutual honesty, transparency, and open communication
Feeling known and remembered through meaningful gifts or time together
Eye contact and physical touch show me others are present with me
Enneagram Two
Feeling connected to self & to others
Deep, reciprocal conversations where both are sharing openly
Quality time uninterrupted, especially when others put their phones down to be with me
Laughing and having a good time with loved ones
When people remember the little things I've shared
Feeling collaboration with others as we work toward a common goal
Sharing something meaningful, like a meal or a walk or a coffee date
Taking time to take care of myself in the way I need: alone time, exercise, practical needs, etc.
Enneagram Three
Feeling connected to self & to others
Mutual sharing of accomplishments, especially when others don't assume I'm bragging if I talk about something I've done that I'm excited about
Yoga, meditation, and simply closing my eyes to feel connected to myself
Open and honest communication
Being vulnerable in conversation with close friends and family
Feeling like I'm full of purpose and I know what I need to do
Spending time with people who make me forget my to-do list
Walks alone in nature to return to my true self
Enneagram Four
Feeling connected to self & to others
Feeling like someone notices something about me that I didn't have to tell them
Sharing experiences with others, especially in places that are beautiful to me
Deep, intentional conversations in which my emotions feel mirrored
Mindful breathing, meditation, and self-reflection to find an inner sense of calm
Time alone to process, think, and sort through my emotions
Validating and empathetic questions, followed up by attentive listening
Movies, books, and music that capture my emotions
Enneagram Five
Feeling connected to self & to others
Stimulating conversation about topics that fascinate me
Being with people I feel safe with and having deep discussions about life
Feeling noticed, seen, and understood
Meeting my own needs by sitting quietly or taking a long walk outside
Spending time alone to process and then talking through things with a loved one
Supporting my closest people and knowing they are supportive of me as well
Knowing I can rely on myself, but I can also rely on a few close loved ones
Enneagram Six
Feeling connected to self & to others
When others are reassuring and sincere, not dismissive
Vulnerable, open, and honest conversation - transparency is so important!
Feeling surrounded by friends who make me feel understood
Others reaching out to me first just to check in
Silence alone or time outside to feel grounded within myself
Intentional quality time with people & doing things we enjoy
Doing something lighthearted, like laughing, singing, or dancing
Enneagram Seven
Feeling connected to self & to others
Being outside and feeling free to do what makes me happy
Sharing my vision and passion for all my wild ideas with others
Intentionally slowing down and taking deep breaths
Others reaching out and including me in their plans
Feeling like my loved ones will listen to me and love me (even if what I say is unexpected or causes conflict)
Getting excited together about plans, adventures, and even the little things
Deep conversations with loved ones in which I am free to share my feelings, but I don't have to
Enneagram Eight
Feeling connected to self & to others
Doing something adventurous
When others feel safe with me and know they can rely on me
Deep, honest conversation with mutual vulnerability and focused listening
Working to find a solution to problems together
Eye contact and quality time that is uninterrupted
Knowing we can call each other out without disrupting the relationship
Being with friends who don't make assumptions about me or my feelings
Noticing when I need a break and taking intentional silence or alone time
Enneagram Nine
Feeling connected to self & to others
Quality time with loved ones with no phones
People who ask about me and listen in a way that shows me they care
Hiking or spending time in nature & laying in my hammock
Intentional movement and breath to reconnect to my body
Deep conversations with others who make me feel loved, valued, and noticed
Laughing and having a great time with others
Journaling, listening to music, and paying attention to what I need
Take a moment to think about where you are right now. Which point is going well for you? Which point needs a little more attention? And is there someone in your life you want to share this with? Let me know here, or feel free to pass it along.
Want to explore more about the Enneagram and how to apply the Enneagram to your everyday life? My book, Enneagram in Real Life, provides you with a step-by-step guide to use the Enneagram as a practical tool for self-discovery, self-awareness, curiosity, and relational wholeness.
