Feeling connected to the self & others by Enneagram type 💫

You'll notice that most of the types have a few things in common! We all feel more connected to others when we:
· engage in deep conversations with active listening both ways
· work collaboratively with those around us
· feel understood - or at least that others want to understand us
And we all feel more connected to ourselves when we take time for rest and alone time to meet our practical self-care needs.

This series was inspired by real responses from people across all nine Enneagram types, sharing what they love and value most about the other types in their lives and themselves. This is part two.

This series was inspired by real responses from people across all nine Enneagram types, sharing what they love and value most about the other types in their lives.

I’m highlighting what other types have said they appreciate about each Enneagram type. You'll find an image for each type below, so whether you're sharing it with a friend or keeping it for yourself, I hope it offers warm and genuine encouragement.

There's real value in being able to name what you naturally bring to the table. When I shared something similar in the past, I heard from people who were using it to update their resumes. So, get that resume out if you’re looking to update!

Whether you’re looking for a job or not, I think seeing and knowing your strengths is important.

In my years of working with the Enneagram, I’ve heard a lot of talk about which Enneagram type is “the worst.” This kind of talk is not okay — and it’s not helpful. There are plenty of reasons we don’t get along with certain people, and it is absolutely fine not to click with everyone. But that doesn’t mean any type is “the worst.” If the Enneagram isn’t helping us become more kind, compassionate, and understanding — toward ourselves and others — then what’s the point? So let’s settle this once and for all.

Whether a behavior has a positive or negative impact on your life, it often originates in meeting a real need. So these lists aren’t intended to judge whether you do or don’t do them! It’s all about giving permission to find your type even if the description isn’t a “perfect” fit.

When we think of resilience, we often think about bouncing back and trying again, as if nothing ever happened. And while this might seem admirable on the outside, this response often requires ignoring, fleeing, or otherwise stuffing away feelings without processing them. In times of crisis, setting feelings aside might be necessary temporarily, but we can’t truly grow, build real resilience, or move forward if we don’t actually process emotions.

What self-compassion can you extend toward yourself today?
Where can you affirm yourself as you already are?

What are you like when falling in love? These tendencies were submitted when I asked about falling in love in my Instagram stories. As you read, keep in mind that these describe behaviors of the types, whereas the Enneagram is about core motivation.

Most of us interact with stressors in our lives in various ways. On a given day, we might express unhealthy AND healthy responses to a challenging situation - the same is true with break-ups! You do not have to be 100% healthy all the time to still be growing - that would be exhausting! Growth begins with simply noticing the unhealthy responses and reaching out when you need support. 🌿

In this post, I’ll share some ideas about chapters we might include in a memoir. This post is just for fun! And yes, they are definitely a little exaggerated and probably not the most flattering depictions of any of us. We can be honest about our hangups together!

I thought of a few commonalities between the types and framed them as chapter titles. Remember, this is by no means extensive! Feel free to claim a title not specified for your type.

I would normally let this idea pass on (I have a graveyard of post ideas that will never see the light of day 😉🪦), but ’tis the season, so why not! I was thinking about the phrase, “That’ll be on my tombstone” (and similar sentences), so those inspired this post.

Things That Feel Like the Worst-case Scenario | A Reinterpretation of the “Core Fear” of Each Enneagram Type : We often hear about the “core motivation” and “core fear” of each Enneagram type. When I’ve talked about this with people who love the Enneagram (including many of you!), the term “core fear” doesn’t quite resonate. Instead, I’ve begun to teach this as what each type is avoiding or what feels like the WORST for each type.

Want to deepen your relationships and truly understand the people in your life? This guide explores how to relate with each Enneagram type—Types One through Nine—highlighting what each type values in communication, how they show up in relationships, and how you can connect more meaningfully. Whether you’re a Type Two learning to set boundaries or a Type Seven embracing stillness, these insights will help you grow in empathy and understanding.

What does growth look like for you? These aren’t the only signs of growth for each type, but these might help you observe what growth looks like for you. If you notice areas where you’ve grown, take a moment to acknowledge that! Building those habits can take a lot of intentional work. If there are items on this list that aren’t yet available to you, that’s okay, too. This is not intended to be a report card! Even noting a couple of ways you’ve grown is incredible!

Sometimes I think we get so caught up examining the differences between the types that we lose sight of our similarities. When I asked about what makes each type feel valued at work, every type shared that they appreciate being recognized for a job well done, even in small ways. So let your coworkers / employees / managers / group project buddies know how much you appreciate them!

We all have strengths & weaknesses. I love the idea that we can learn to “borrow” strengths: meaning, we assume we’re capable of growth and change AND we can learn to build on what we’re already good at. We can also acknowledge that each type has some incredible abilities that we can all appreciate!